I’m triggered AF right now to the point of a few tears and a feeling of uneasy unrest and fear.

What is the feeling?

The feeling is the memory of




And then adding on “work bitch”?

Yeah. No. That doesn’t open up the flow passages - that scares the shit out of me and doesn’t resonate with the concept and idea of unlimited abundance, infinite creation and divine order. And I’m reading the words of one of my mentors who guides with creation, and expansion.

So what is this feeling I’m trying to identify that has been alerted throughout my system enough to make me feel totally anxious and unsettled?


Do we step the magic back when “reality” hits?


Is this an old article published from a couple of years ago?


I thought we create our own reality in the quantum, in each and every moment?


This doesn’t ground and liberate my heart, this tightens my throat constricts my chest and reminds me of times of

YORE, HORE. I mean cmon!


Wow! I feel grateful to be aware that I could still resonate with this terror and work this out of my body, mind and spirit!!! I breathe deeply.


My heart is pumping and I didn’t even know it. Maybe it’s the fever, maybe it’s the trigger - maybe the combo is a beautiful blessing. What’s the lesson here, Val? What’s the emotion you’re feeling?


Tears … tears …


It hurts but feels good - wait … is this sad? No … pain?




I keep seeing hands tied behind me in a rope. And I feel she’s a female and she’s being struck by a male.

It is not me.

It is not my life. I just keep seeing it. And hearing those words.


“ You better work, Bitch

Or you’re gonna



No one has ever said those words in that exact configuration, but the energy - shit … the energy. I could feel that.


I know that energy deep inside of me.


I burst into tears as I write this and realize, I am digging deeper.


This is what I’ve been avoiding, turning away from.

This is the energy that lured me in so many times, shocked to unconscious response - motivated fear -




Pound pound pound


My head is throbbing a little as I figure all this out in a few moments, working my way through the dialogue,

Journaling the bits that hit me because it feels like a major discovery, something I’ve not allowed myself to acknowedge


Yes, I’ve been sick.

Yes, my kids are home sick, too.

Yes I just got back from a trip, and there’s a ton to do because of the holidays (although

I have it pretty simple now and for good cause. I have asked to receive.)


I asked for this. I asked to be what I know already.

That I have wisdom and knowing that when I follow my EPIC LIFE plan it ALWAYS prevails over the fearful living plan. Eertime.


And the truth about epic living?

It includes digging deeper DAILY. Digging into the unknown, facing fears and falling on your face and finding your own flow, despite the pain, the pressure and the layer upon layer of awareness we get to move through and understand, each time we choose to create from soul and heart felt vision.

The work is the work and the awareness will no longer be denied, deluded, deceived or dumbed down.

So dig deep, Val. Dig. Deep.


Get to work, bitch.


So ……THIS is why we do what we do. To shift from shit to SHIFT.

I’m here to bring cosmic visionary creative soul fire and light eerthang UP to epic brilliance simply by being the most me I can be. 


I ran to and from myself for years, and suffered deeply.


I always believed in myself and now that I’ve truly learned to back myself I am devoted to Inspiring cosmic visionary creatives to light the fuck up and return to themselves,

energetically opening up their throat and heart chakras

and restoring full levels of self confidence and worthiness in their root

and opening up third eye and crown by reflecting back to them their highest soul frequencies

as I resonate with their darkness and rise it up WITH them


simply by being my badass cosmic self


who can feel, know and shift frequencies in my sleep

and letting myself BE truly myself

and expressing whatever comes through me that guides us back


to our own highest truths,

And aligned integrity

of living


a full and epic experience of life.


My heart was on lockdown, my throat was closed shut,

I was barely in my body, I could barely

feel myself or know what I even wanted, thought or felt emotionally.


I was CHECKED OUT, even though I am a very switched on person!


My fears got the best of my faith, time and again,

because I wanted to please my family,

please others, be a nice and good girl,

and only rebel to the extent that it felt just beyond a limit that was still safe.


I broke the rules when it came to following my career and coming out to Los Angeles by myself,

even though I didn’t have a job,

but I got sucked into my career as an fx artist on major Hollywood films and into my marriage and family.


I found myself lost, sick and barely present in my life at 45.


I knew I wasn’t going down like that.


I was not going to stay in a relationship that wouldn’t let me be the kind of mother, artist and visionary I truly know myself to be.

It had no room for me to expand my wings as a spiritual revolutionary guide.

I was not going to stay where I wouldn’t even be able to express my true political views, much less express myself like I do now.


This was not just about expanding into my limitless self, though it is, but I have allowed myself to create a life where for the first time in my life, I feel more safe than ever, because I know I have my own back! I know that no matter what, I will have my own sense of wisdom, creativity and FLOW that allows me to truly be present in my life and create prosperity and wellness for myself. AND THIS IS WHAT I AM ACTIVATING in my clients, my community and in the cosmos!!!

To bust you out of the box in your mind that got programmed, conditioned, layered over you like it did me. 

To release the HAVE TO and flow into I GET TO because I know what is on the other side and I’m aligned

And guiding myself closer and closer to my vision and calling, so it gets easier as I get away from the

Misaligned path.


Let’s get back to this feeling of … YOU BETTER OR ELSE.


“You better or else” is so victim/oppressor type vibration and there’s my throat tight again.


Right now, there are so many women living fearful in their daily moments because they are surviving,

just barely,

Under the strain of




They keep their mouth shut, they are tight lipped and self effacing because ……


  • they fear the repercussion of saying or even admitting the truth for fear of disrupting their comfort, safety and wellness (even though that is already compromised living out of alignment!)
  • They fear taking on responsibility, or speaking up for fear of repercussion - it is easier to hide and submit (not really)
  • They think they are too something (insert your word here) and unworthy of what they feel could be better so they settle in fear for fear of something worse (they may have lived great trauma and NEVER want to return to unsafety) even though this life really may not feel so safe when truly faced


Even as they begin to face their fears, and remember their force, there can be a long, volatile and turbulent road ahead out of the survival mode of YOU BETTER OR ELSE.


And others and families who may desire to support and love the woman rising up out of - you better or else - will be under their own ‘YBOE.’ So THEY will hesitate, hold off and even suppress the rise of the woman/man facing her fears and finding her flow. And it is this dark resistance that those who remain true to their deepest core, their inner being, their light within - they will rise up and far beyond YBOE

They will rise up because their passion is FIRE and their soul is pure light. Their vision extends far beyond anything you actually see and their knowing crosses all the dimensions. This ability to tap in, move energy release ancient markers of disease and torture within our very DNA? This work is not for any one other than the divine cosmic visionary rockstar who rises up out of the ashes, here to shed the shackles of the eons and rebirth anew as a supernova creative force of limitless compassionate and endless abundance created from what comes so deeply naturally to us, and that we’ve also known for eons but we’ve SUPPRESSED.


Suppression is darkness, contractive and prevalent in survival to just thriving mode. When we transcend a level beyond YBOE we expand into more creativity, more breath, more limitless thinking and living.


I have both expressed and suppressed deeply in my life. When I first gotYBOE.’d with my ex, I submitted and signed up immediately. The trigger ran deep. My soul saw the opportunity to fully be suppressed and see how she’d rise up and heal and grow beyond those limits. Yeah my soul saw that but my person? My me, the me back then?


What did it look like in real life?


Me seeing a psychic flash play out before me in my mind’s eye - a future me, miserable, put upon, YBOE life - sloppy mess house, ungrateful kids, angry man, unworthy me trying to break free. Yep. I saw it all play out - that vision and understanding of this dynamic - right there in front of me. Only, it wasn’t. It was JUST in my mind’s eye. So I talked myself out of backing what I SAW and KNEW, because nobody ever told me to trust myself!! In fact, everyone was always helpful and teaching me to be more soft, more vulnerable, more listening, more patient, more organized, more quiet, more calm, more peaceful,



And why? Why did I ignore that powerful of a feeling and knowing inside of me? Because there were also wonderful visions. Soul visions. Magical, loving, beautiful possibilities. And I dismissed and suppressed my knowing and awareness for a version that made so much more sense and seemed so much more “REAL” than my own damn awareness.


I did the same thing with work. I picked an incredible career and it was much more exciting than a regular corporate job, but still, there were so many ways I grew and learned through SO MUCH in that business. So many moments I lived in unhealthy contraction and misaligned years of my life, making a great living, working in a really fun environment. I loved the people, and there were aspects of the work I really was good at and loved.  But there were so many ways I was out of alignment - from sitting 12-14 hour days 7 days a week, weeks on end, to submitting to a culture of technology, and hierarchy that was NOT my field of expertise. When I got into it I didn’t realize how it would all go. It took me on my journey and had I been more courageous and trusted myself more deeply, I’d have found myself in a different situation.


But it seemed impossible at the time. So I stayed within the frame work that felt safe to me and I chose many things in my life more and more, out of fear.


It’s what we do. It creeps up and it’s the little choices where we ignore our own voice and ability to tune in and follow intuition, and what’s in our eye, and in our knowing and in our dreams and vision, it’s in those little moments we slowly begin to live these complex lives that aren’t truly ours.


Because YBOE.




YOU BETTER WORK BITCH won’t drive you any more. And my greatest creation will never come from a YBOE. I am sovereign, and soul led and I am certain in my passion as a powerful  and visionary guide/artist that the gifts I bring through with you open up your limitless and most expansive core of you, helping you to remember how to work bitch, with out the YBOE and all the dollahs, hollahs and follows that go with divinely aligned purpose, passion and prosperity. Your wealth, health and stealth is you, at your best, in tune, on your game, focused in, nourished and flourishing, LIVING EPIC in the Valtopiasphere.


Arriving this week - access to monthly investment beginning in January 2019 in an epic community, divine energy alignment and deep mastery and BOSS skills to


  • own your worth
  • Stand in your value
  • Commit and be certain
  • Become grounded and centered
  • Find your sass
  • Believe in your BOLD BADASS
  • Back yourself I’m all your divine disruption
  • Forget the how and find your flow
  • Be more YOU
  • Leave toxic energy drains behind
  • Feel attractive and Become super magnetic
  • Deepen your cosmic connection
  • Expand your spiritual gifts (seeing, hearing, knowing, feeling)
  • Learn simple techniques of energy mastery that are life changing and powerful
  • Receive fresh cosmic guidance as it flows through
  • Be supported and activated to your highest and most limitless creativity and vision


We can let go of what isn’t you and activate and remember who you really are to be your most EPIC you that you forgot you came to do and be.


You won’t stay stuck, you won’t keep taking itty bitty steps that just squash your spirit and show you the fear is real. You won’t give into the YBOE any longer and you will remember all the times you HAVE backed yourself and done the work and followed through and you KNEW and you connected, created and loved in your cosmic being all the way!!


You will know and not hesitate one bit to decide this is for you. This is for your soul. This is for your passion and this is for your purpose and you will begin to shift as soon as you decide and give yourself PERMISSION TO EPIC.



 IMMEDIATELY we begin in January 2019 with a kickoff two day experience in San Diego.


All VIP Epic Clients receive access to all my Radiant Retreat VIP intensives, access to all of my online virtual offerings (previous and current content) and one on one access to me through voxer and guided sessions.


Mega ballers, cosmic rockstars and creative visionaries ready to badass their mojo supernova style need only apply. DM to get started - signup links coming by end of week.


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